February 2012
4 posts
1 tag
labyrinth
January 2012
18 posts
1 tag
damaged
(december 8th 2011)
i fell today,
just a pebble on a puddled path and i stumbled
that jolt was all i needed to realise.
and as i was falling, i saw my face in the water it was terrified, broken; cut by glass and words stitched together with bloodied elastic bands
sprawled on the ground, i lifted a muddied face and with squinting eyes my gaze followed the crepuscular horizon and i saw...
learning a person
its a funny buisness learning people.
it takes more than a life time .. and because we constantly changing , flowing.. moving.. its impossible to keep up. but we make progress… with much focus and attention, i have found it possible to discover things about a person that make them more real. tangible.. logical? probably not logical.
but learning yourself.. it seems even more difficult....
2 tags
Sylvia Plath
Reading Plath’s journal, sitting on the rocks of Jelly Bean Creek, I was inspired in such a rare and unique way. Reading her words of sadness and beauty, I felt as if I were reading my own thoughts, dressed in expression I can’t seem to muster. I have never felt so understood by someone, and yet she will never know or understand me. Is it arrogant to say how similar my thoughts are to...
And the heart is hard to translate, It has a language of it’s own, It talks and tongues and quiet sighs and prayers and proclamations, In the grand days of great men and the smallest of gestures, In short shallow gasps. But with all my education, I can’t seem to commend it, And the words are all escaping me, And coming back all damaged, And I would put them back in poetry, If...
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im kinda sick of seeing christians at each others throats about theology and beliefs.. it seems american preachers have completely separated themselves from each other and like to post vidoes and tweets and articles disagreeing and rebuking.. proving why their interpretation is better.. more grace filled.. more jesus.
john piper - CHILL OUT. mark driscol - seriously chill out. other random...
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“There is one all-important law of human conduct… Always make the other person...”
– Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends & Influence People (1936)
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“If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think...”
– Haruki Murakami
destructive, naturally
i miss a time when creating still felt natural. when life gave me lemons, i would make lemonade. now i throw the lemons at windows, because i’m too lazy to open them.
you know whats quite inconvenient?
that its so easy to make scars. that i have such power over pain. but can i heal them? a single moment, a swift movement - and there it is. broken.
i can sew, stitches can hold broken...
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“It was curious, to think that the sky was the same for everybody, in Eurasia or...”
– George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four
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“Rise like lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number.
Shake your chains to...”
– Percy Shelley
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Welcome to Orwell's World - this article is 2... →
A cocktail of words and music
A few weeks ago, I...
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Is it true that when you hit rock bottom.. you pull yourself together?
When everything is unravelled.. can it be stitched into something beautiful?
I feel every single thing in my life collasped in 2011. I fell apart. So much changed; my thoughts, values, friends, beliefs.
And I feel like a shell… everything is gone.
Can I really start again and put myself back together?
I think...
Weekly Ones
read one book a week
lose one kilo a week
watch one foreign film / documentary a week
cook one meal for my family a week
give one hundred dollars to my parents a week
spend one day at home a week
December 2011
37 posts
christmas as a diabetic… wow.
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gregarious misanthrope?
lately, i have been gregarious. which is strange, but enjoyable
can i be a gregarious misanthrope? because i feel like i am.
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damn you florence.. your song says everything i have been trying to these last 20 minutes sitting with my pen against a blank page.
the words that turned up… well they are nothing. your song says it all.
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“To our amazement we suddenly exist, after having for countless millennia not...”
– Arthur Schopenhauer, On the Vanity of Existence
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“I am a historian, I am not a believer, but I must confess as a historian that...”
– H.G. Wells
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Happy Birthday Jesus
I dont know what You think about Christmas.. this day thats supposed to celebrate your birth - no doubt among the most important days in history.. along with that day you died and then that time you rose again.
But it’s hard to say whether you like christmas or not. Sometimes you are quite unpredictable.
Like that time you were born… you entered the world in a stable.. to people...
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“Faith is not a conclusion you reach…it is a journey you live.”
– AW Tozer
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I Celebrate The Day - Relient K
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land of milk and honey
I keep sitting down to write something; something of the old me,
I want it to reassure me that I still have wisdom That I am still in love with my Saviour; still hold His promises in my heart; still full of the desire to believe; I want to hear my spirit still singing with His.
but when I do, I feel awkward my words disjointed and staggered my mind blocked words are sporadically spat onto the...
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circles and circles. i am an odd sock in a washing...
CBT - Does it work? I have had CBT and find this... →
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life is for living, we all know, and i dont want...
coldplay
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We Never Change - Coldplay
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If you’re going through hell, keep going - Winston Churchill
There is something quite empowering about the clarity in thinking like this; in saying, just do it - keep going.
It’s a mindset that is getting me through this hell called living. When I say something as depressing as that, I don’t mean it in the way it sounds. Living is made up of all sorts of beautiful people and...
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“I’m bright - people tell me that - but I don’t know what I want to...”
– Yann Martel - The Time I Heard The Private Donald J.Rankin String Concerto With One Discordant Violin, by the American Composer John Morton
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ubuntu
when i am alone - in that moment when i wake up to the day; free of the desire to impress, of the fear of judgment, of the need to perform this play of self - the self that they see.
is that person me?
or when i am in conversation, when i am listening and being listened to, when i find reason to laugh with another… when i decide what to put on my face and how to dress my body.. when i turn...
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i wish i could consume words like i do food. my binge eating makes me realise the dichotomy of my head and my emotions. i want to eat up all the books in the world and be filled with their sentences of secrets. books make me feel all the good things in life; like im pushing out ignorance and dull thinking with every new word i digest; like the real world is at once of the upmost importance, and...
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Shake it out - Florence + The Machine
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decrepitude
2 tags
I wrote this about a year ago, and I am sad to see how my passion and integrity have withered a little… but determined to reignite and make this a reality:
There are a lot of things that I would like to be, much more than those I am proud to say I am. I want to be true.. I want people to respect my honesty and feel like they can offer some in return. I want to be someone who is in such...
making my life beautiful
how to make an average day a little bit beautiful…
notice the sky and how unique it is today
enjoy the taste of good food
reflect in the shower
find things funny & make others laugh
be kind to strangers
take it easy and have fun
appreciate all the colours around you
tell those you love that you love them
say yes to things
do things that you enjoy
realise that this day will...
1 tag
“That is the substance of remembering—sense, sight, smell: the muscles with which...”
– —William Faulkner: Absalom, Absalom! (1936)
i have started to get back into an old mindset..
one that, despite knowing that i am tired.. that my eyes are begging for rest and my head desperate for its few hours of regenerating.. does not want sleep.
i do not want to hit the end button on this day.. i do not want tomorrow to come.
i do not want to start a new day and have to live it.
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we need more people daring enough to rebel; to rebel against the norms against the ideals of a world that welcomes only the compliant to raise a voice when silence betrays vanishing lives;
people who will put aside greed for the sake of a better world it is not the greed of politicans alone that kills the multidues but of individuals running to the malls of mass production filling landfills with...
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higher - gungor
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words
wholesome
assiduous
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Song of Songs 8
Love is invincible facing danger and death. Passion laughs at the terrors of hell. The fire of love stops at nothing— it sweeps everything before it. Flood waters can’t drown love, torrents of rain can’t put it out. Love can’t be bought, love can’t be sold. - The Message
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy...